Nausea

In my last post I mentioned that I hadn't been feeling well and that I would explain that in a later post. Well, now it's time. I've been sick for about two weeks with this strange nausea. It's always there but sometimes I feel okay while other times I am really sick. In the last two weeks I have lost almost 10 lbs. If it were under any other circumstance I would be rejoicing, but I lost it all by not being able to eat anything! It's sort of this feeling in the back of my throat that makes me feel like I might just throw up but I never do. It's always the worst in the morning and at night. Some days I can function just fine but others I feel like I can't do anything. Along with it, I have a sore throat but no other cold symptoms and feel extremely fatigued. I know that being tired is a symptom of my hypothyroidism but I can't explain the sore throat and nausea.

I thought that perhaps I was experiencing heart burn but I don't really know what that is supposed to feel like and it doesn't seem to be related to anything I eat. My throat also doesn't burn like you would expect when you think of heart burn. Taking antacids doesn't give me any relief whatsoever. Sometimes just getting food in my stomach helps a little bit but the feeling is always there.

I am so tired and sick that just getting the housework done on a daily basis is all I can manage so going for a walk is out of the question. I have been able to go a few days in the past two weeks but usually I just don't have the strength. Sometimes I think that either I'm starting to feel better or I'm just getting used to being sick all the time, but then I have another really bad day. Today is one of those days.

I know what some of you may be thinking, but you are wrong. According to three tests and my monthly visitor (who is actually my sometimes-every-40-days-visitor and who was 5 days late this time), I am not pregnant. I thought for sure I was because these are all classic pregnancy symptoms, but I was wrong, much to my great disappointment. I could handle the nausea if I knew that I would get a precious gift for it in the end, but now I have no answers and I just want it to stop. I didn't want to say anything about it before because I wanted to surprise my family with the news about the pregnancy but now there is no need to keep it a secret and at this point I don't mind if some people know because I really need some prayer. I feel like I'm just in survivor mode and doing the necessary chores (like keeping my family safe and healthy) and letting everything else slide.

I have a doctor appointment next Tuesday but I can't imagine feeling this way any longer. I am very thankful, however, that I did not feel sick on Thanksgiving or the day after. I ate more those two days than I have eaten over the last two weeks combined. Sadly, the next two days I was more sick than I think I have been since it all started. I hope to get some answers from my doctor next week and my medication will also be adjusted, so if this is all caused by my thyroid then maybe I'll start feeling better soon. Please pray for relief, strength, rest, and the ability to take care of my family even if I don't feel well. Thank you. I'll keep you posted.

Moderation

Moderation is the key, my friends.

In July I started on the Weight Watchers diet and for the most part was doing everything right. I also walked almost every day for at least 30 minutes and lost a total of about 15 lbs in about 3 weeks. I didn't work as hard as I knew I could, though. The number of points I was able to use seemed like too many and I always had a ton of points left over and would often think, "Oh, well then I can have a cookie because I have points left." I was not as disciplined as I could be but I certainly did better than I ever have in my life at really trying to diet. There were things about the diet I liked but things I didn't like. This time around I am not counting points, not counting calories, not deciding what is off-limits. I am simply keeping to the philosophy that moderation is the key.

I am definitely striving to eat more vegetables and fruit and less fat and sugar, but I will not deny myself of certain pleasures. My goal is not to lose as much weight as possible, but to transition into a healthier lifestyle. My biggest problem has always been moderation. If I think something is good, self-control goes out the window and I eat as much of it as I can. *Blush blush*. Having one or two cookies a week will not kill me. Having five cookies in one sitting might. Having one soda a month certainly won't harm me, but having one a day (like when we are on vacation, or like I used to do before I got married) will most definitely cause me harm. It's about making good decisions and using self-control. We teach our son daily about self-control and pray with him that God will help him to have self-control and yet I have none myself.

This morning I wanted to have our family's favorite breakfast, potatoes and sausage. We usually make a heaping amount for both of us then smother it in syrup. I used great self-control this morning to only cut up a very small potato and a couple of slices of sausage and to use as little canola oil in the skillet as possible. It was a great breakfast and quite filling.

For lunch I had a veggie burrito, which I told you about one day last week. I used leftover rice from dinner the night before (which was seasoned with home made taco seasoning) and leftover corn. I chopped carrots and broccoli and added fresh spinach. I spread a little bit of ranch dressing on a warmed tortilla, added the rice and veggies then sprinkled it with a little bit of cheddar cheese. It was so wonderfully delicious.

Oh, I also walked 30 minutes at the mall today.

Christmas decorations!

My calves are sore from the brisk pace I kept the entire time. I blew all those old ladies with their fanny packs and hand weights out of the water!

So in closing, it's not all about losing as much weight as possible, but about changing my lifestyle and making better choices. Eating healthier, getting exercise, using self-control, and eating bad things in moderation without denying myself of simple pleasures every now and then. Hopefully this doesn't backfire on me!

Sick, Sick, Sick!

Well, all three of us have a bad cold now. So much for walking and making better, healthier dinner choices for the next couple of days. My mom offered to order Chineese food and since she doesn't cook much and I didn't have the energy, I said it would be fine. It was all right but what good is deliciously fattening food if you can't taste it?

There isn't a book in this world that I have ever read that captivates me the way the Left Behind series does. Yes, I know it's just someone's own interpretation of what happens in the end times but it just has this way of drawing me in. I started reading them again a month ago and am on the 10th book now. Crazy, I know! My time could be spent so much better reading more uplifting books but at least it has drawn my attention away from watching TV shows online. One of my goals has been to watch less and read more, which I am doing. Any suggestions on some good, educational reading material that will actually do me some good? I'll want to have one ready for when I finish this series, which is only 2 books away. ;-)

My Lil' Squirt is turning 2 tomorrow! He loves animals so tomorrow my mom and I are going to pick up his cousin and take them to the zoo! Afterwards, he is going to help me make a lion cake for his lion themed birthday. I hope it turns out all right. I'll be sure to post pictures and let you know either way.

Motivation

I wish I could say my motivation to lose weight was just because I want to be healthy. While I DO want to just be healthy, I have many more reasons. Of course, I want my son to learn to have a healthier lifestyle than I did growing up. I'm having a hard time now because I have to break 26 years worth of bad habits. Those things don't just change overnight! I know that if I start young with my Lil' Squirt, it will be easier for him when he is growing up. My other reason is because I want another baby!

We started trying over a year ago. I got pregnant right away but miscarried at 7 or 8 weeks. After taking about 6 weeks to heal both physically and emotionally, we started trying again but it just hasn't happened for us. After the miscarriage I started putting on weight, which at first I thought was perfectly fine and normal because I was somewhat depressed and it was also in the midst of the holiday season so there was lots of delicious grub to munch on, but I continued to put on weight for months. My lifestyle hadn't changed though. I wasn't eating more than I had been or eating any less healthy. If anything, I should have gained a few pounds at first then stayed the same with the small amount of physical activity I got at the time. But the weight just kept coming. I was also EXHAUSTED all the time. And I don't just mean work made me tired. It didn't matter how much sleep I got, 8 hours or 4 hours, I was always so tired! Any physical activity knocked me out for days. I thought it was just because I was overweight and I would try to ignore it and just go on about my business but it really started to bring me down. I was getting headaches almost daily and I was also getting more and more forgetful and finding it difficult for things to compute in my mind. I remember asking Sonny if it was possible that I was showing early signs of Alzheimer's. I finally went to the doctor when my cycle suddenly changed and went from a long 40 days and extremely heavy to 26 days and light enough to be considered spotting. I had a myriad of tests done and it turned out that my thyroid was low.

For those who don't know, the thyroid gland is, "a two-lobed endocrine gland, located at the base of the neck that secretes two hormones that regulate the rates of metabolism, growth, and development," according to Dictionary.com. It just so happens that any problem with the thyroid gland affects almost all parts of the body in some way. It makes you tired, gain weight, causes depression, the inability to think clearly, forgetfulness, and many other things that seem unrelated, including difficulty getting pregnant.

There are a lot of women at my old church in Blacksburg who were also having thyroid issues and they all seemed to deal with it in different ways. Some did exactly what the doctor prescribed while some went a more natural route. After receiving a lot of advice and seeking out a lot of information from both sides, I decided that I fell somewhere in the middle and that I would start taking Synthroid and see how my body reacted and if I would start to notice a difference then try some herbs and special diets if it didn't seem to be working. So far I have definitely seen a difference in how much more energy I have in general (although I still have REALLY sluggish days but they don't happen as often) and I have had far fewer headaches. I will be getting tested again in a few weeks and we'll see where I stand.

One of the ways that I know I can help myself along is by eating better and getting more exercise. I feel that if I can lose some weight and get into a better, healthier lifestyle, it will be easier to get pregnant. It was so easy to get pregnant the first two times but now I feel like I'm having this epic battle with my body and I am losing. I know that God is sovereign and only He decides when it is time for us to have another child, but my desire is so strong and perhaps the reason it is so strong is to give me motivation to get myself healthy. God will give us another baby in His timing and I must be patient (which is so hard, especially when everyone around me is having babies) but He knows what is best for me and for my family. All I can do for my part is to pray the prayer that never fails: "Lord, Your will be done," and to prepare my body to receive the precious gift that I hope someday God will give us.

Speaking of precious gifts, my sister-in-law had her baby today! She is a healthy 5 lb 10 oz and 18 3/4 inches long. Congratulations Eleanor and Peter!